Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Apples and Oranges

Why did people riot in the streets of my new city last night?

So the Hungarian Prime Minister was caught on tape admitting that he and his socialist government flat-out lied to win the recent elections—not just lied once, but lied repeatedly, lied about everything, “lied in the morning and lied at night.” Moreover, he said it was completely obvious to anyone paying attention that he had been lying. He basically confirmed that all of his political opponents’ criticisms of him were correct. He said himself that his government had not done one positive thing for the country during their entire time in power. According to him, only sheer, dumb luck had kept the nation’s finances from completely collapsing. The tape is full of obscenities—the PM swears like a sailor.

It’s really hard to imagine the magnitude of this. What is this like?

Imagine Bush was caught on tape talking to the cabinet. “Well, boys, it’s a damn good thing we paid off those crooked veterans to lie about that assfucker Kerry, otherwise we never would have won the fucking election, no matter how many dicklicking votes we stole. We’ve been lying through our teeth day in and day out about Iraq, which is so far up shit creek it’s hit shit glacier. Invading Iraq was one of the stupidest and worst thought-out things anyone has ever done, ever. Talk about lack of planning! Whoa, Nelly! We don’t know how to get out, we never did, we never will. Of course we’ve been lying about the economy, which we’ve fucked so hard it needs surgery. And the war on terror! The stupidest hillbilly in Texas can see that the cocksucking war on terror is just an excuse to seize totalitarian executive power! I just can’t believe we’re actually getting away with it all! This country is our bitch, boys, and we’re putting her on the stroll...I’ll tell you one other thing too, she’s going to stay on that corner until I get my motherfucking money!”

At least in the Hungarian tape, the PM says that he’s tired of lying and that the country has got to be turned around in a major way—it’s so candid that some have even suggested he leaked the tape himself. Can’t imagine that ending to the hypothetical American version.

2 comments:

Justk said...

Ganch- I didn't know you had all of that "dirty talk" in you! All jokes aside, I hope that both you and Rick remain safe and continue to keep us posted. I was listening to NPR on the way home today and found out that there is another coup but in Thailand as of this morning. Nuts!

K

filbert said...

"What is this like?", you ask? It's like the Nixon tapes - those hours and hours of ranting and swearing which confirmed our worst suspicions about the man and the administration. Only this time it's a little less scary because he's not lying about lying, cheating and stealing . . .